So when I started this blog I said that it would be my spot to complain, and to record just what I am thinking along this journey to a "new me." I wish that this entry could be a "wow" one, but it is just not going to be.
This week has been really tough on me mentally and physically. Mentally, I have been telling myself that I am NUTS! That there is NO WAY that I can do this triathlon. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to do this, but with 40 extra lbs on me it is really hard. I am working so hard, but those pounds will not come off! I have tried everything short of starving myself and nothing has worked! Do you know how depressing it is when you see good friends who have just had a baby get back to their beautiful bodies like before they were pregnant, and you are still looking like a cow 2 years after your baby was born? They are Beautiful and I don't want it to sound like I am not so proud of them for achieving that for themselves, but I am so tired of trying stuff and getting my hopes up that it might work and I will loose the weight that I have tried to take off for the last 4 years, and then just having it not work. I just want to give up, but where will that get me? I have the knowledge and the know hows to be fit and beautiful, and I am using that knowledge, but without the results! When I think about it, I know that I will always have to watch what I eat, and keep working out, but it is a real downer when I try so hard and I just can't see anything for all my hard work. I just want to be proud of myself, and when I look in the mirror I am thinking all this work for what?
Physically, I am just tired! Tired of thinking, tired of working out, tired of being busy, tired of everything! Wow that was depressing...I am just tired in general! Maybe that is why I am such a downer today? Oh well, I have to keep going, that's my job!
So I guess for now I will keep on working out, I hope that someday I can be like my dear friends and finally loose my "baby weight" Sorry this entry was such a depressing one, but that is how I have been feeling lately.
This week has been really tough on me mentally and physically. Mentally, I have been telling myself that I am NUTS! That there is NO WAY that I can do this triathlon. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to do this, but with 40 extra lbs on me it is really hard. I am working so hard, but those pounds will not come off! I have tried everything short of starving myself and nothing has worked! Do you know how depressing it is when you see good friends who have just had a baby get back to their beautiful bodies like before they were pregnant, and you are still looking like a cow 2 years after your baby was born? They are Beautiful and I don't want it to sound like I am not so proud of them for achieving that for themselves, but I am so tired of trying stuff and getting my hopes up that it might work and I will loose the weight that I have tried to take off for the last 4 years, and then just having it not work. I just want to give up, but where will that get me? I have the knowledge and the know hows to be fit and beautiful, and I am using that knowledge, but without the results! When I think about it, I know that I will always have to watch what I eat, and keep working out, but it is a real downer when I try so hard and I just can't see anything for all my hard work. I just want to be proud of myself, and when I look in the mirror I am thinking all this work for what?
Physically, I am just tired! Tired of thinking, tired of working out, tired of being busy, tired of everything! Wow that was depressing...I am just tired in general! Maybe that is why I am such a downer today? Oh well, I have to keep going, that's my job!
So I guess for now I will keep on working out, I hope that someday I can be like my dear friends and finally loose my "baby weight" Sorry this entry was such a depressing one, but that is how I have been feeling lately.
I think you are doing amazingly. I wish I had your discipline. I just never feel like doing anything. I wish there was some magical way to lose weight, because I'd be with you in the front of the line. You'll get there, Sister. Just keep trudging on and don't give up.
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Dy: Believe me when I say "I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!!" Try having a mother and a sister who can seriously get a 6-pack without even trying! UGH! I am genetically linked to them so why not me?!?!? My mom has stood by my side through a ton of my attempts to workout, eat right, crazy dieting attempts etc. Her shock and disbelief in my lack of results somehow comforted me and irritated me all at once! lol At least someone else could see, and agree, that I was doing all the right stuff. I have realized that there is an element of genetics and an element of will power mixed together when it comes to having an amazing bod. Unfortunately I do not have the genetics and my determination will most likely NOT overtake my genetics. One thing I do know, like you have stated, is the alternative is also not a solution! Keep fighting the good fight pretty lady! :)
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